As parents, we often feel like it’s our job to wrap our little ones in bubble wrap to protect them from the big, scary world (and don’t even go into what happens when our children get older and start to enter that world without us).
Sometimes, in our attempt to safeguard them, we might accidentally pass them a parcel of our own worries, wrapped up in a nice, well-meaning bow. Simple and loving comments such as, “Be careful!” or “What if something happens?” but without realising, we’re transferring a little bit of our own anxiety onto them.
I know I experienced this as a child myself, and I am completely guilty of this as a mum myself too. So easily we can inadvertently create a world where they begin to feel more anxious about situations that are really quite manageable. It’s like passing down a tradition, but instead of an heirloom, we’re handing over energetic beliefs that can and will create stress further down the line – for them and us.
We do it without thinking—after all, it’s only natural to want to protect our children from harm.
But…this begs the question – are they really in harm’s way if they need to process anger or sadness for example?
So, how do we stop this cycle of anxious gift-giving and let our kids grow up with a little more confidence and calm?
- Recognise the Anxiety: First things first—take a minute to notice when you’re about to pass on your worries. Are you really concerned for your child’s safety, or is it your own fear bubbling up? Awareness is half the battle!
- Give Them Room to Breathe: Kids need to learn how to handle things on their own, and that includes learning to navigate challenges. Instead of hovering, let them face the world and see how they manage. Trust us, they’ve got it in them!
- Talk, Don’t Worry: If you’ve got concerns, have a chat with your child. Share your feelings, but don’t over-dramatise the risks. It’s like saying, “I’m here if you need me,” instead of “Don’t ever do that, it’s dangerous!” A little bit of calm conversation goes a long way.
- Take Care of You: The more we manage our own stress, the less likely we are to project it onto others. So, try a bit of mindfulness, a good cuppa, or even a cheeky nap—whatever it takes to help you stay calm and collected.
- Ho’oponopono Prayer: a way to deal with your emotions in the moment.
If you are reading this thinking, crikey I am totally ‘guilty’ of this – stop! I want these articles to take weight off of parents and not place more on!
We are humans, we mess up and sometimes we affect others – but the best way to deal with this is to love ourselves and forgive ourselves – and remember now is the most ideal time to start implementing changes – you can change yesterday but you can change the now and the future.
If you are feeling guilt or the like, then the best way to deal with this is to practice Ho’oponopono – click here for further information.
So to finish…
At the end of the day, we all want our kids to grow up feeling confident and capable. By noticing when we’re about to hand over our ‘anxiety parcel’, we can allow them to embrace life’s challenges with a little more ease—allow them to build up a strong base of resilience, and maybe even have a bit of fun along the way!
